The Kline Commons Cafeteria Cookbook!

Now you too can prepare food the Kline way!

This book will teach you all the techniques you'll need to add that special touch to anything from snacks to dinner parties. You'll find all of these enlightening chapters in one easy to use guidebook:

• How to kill texture and flavor in any vegetable
• How to dull the taste of even the strongest spices
• How to ruin any dessert (the many uses of pineapple)
• How to ruin rice (the secret of burned water)
• How to make pizza crust out of recycled tire rubber
• How to raise insects in your vegetable crisper
• Industrial cleaning products as an alternative to salad dressing
• How to render pasta inedible in six easy steps
  Éand
• How to make bad jello

You'll also receive as an added bonus Hairs, Eyelashes, and Scabs, the Kline Guide to Seasoning, plus, if you act now, 2 quarts of artificial cherry filling - not available in any grocery store!